Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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