he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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