how can u be prego again
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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