Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I wish you could order shots online.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so Iām going to see where this goes
Randomize
