if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
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