So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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