also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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