Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
