That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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