You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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