ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
