so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
