I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
