thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
dude i'm inner monologue high
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i will never coherently bang her
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
