Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Randomize
