My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
