My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
