did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
