How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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