Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
