I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
