awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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