life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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