farters have to be the big spoon...
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
