It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
