Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
