Dude my mom stole all your condoms
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
