It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
