walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
and you fell through a lawn chair
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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