Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
