I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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