Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
