i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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