i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
