if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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