So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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