The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
