so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
