So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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