He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
