Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
