we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
