You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
