why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Couch. On fire.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
