I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
