I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
