I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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