I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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