maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
