How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
