I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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