Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Idk if I want to put a bra on
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
